2016 - The Year of Change

Wow where do I begin? 

2016 was a life changing year for me. I can confidently say that I'm not the same person I was a year ago. I really think the breaking point was after graduating from college. 

See, I have never dealt well with change. I still remember being 7 years old and literally scheming against my parents with this whole plan on how I was going to stop my family from moving from California to Virginia. I decided I wasn't going to pack any of my things so that when we were "ready to leave" my room would be full of things which of course meant we weren't going anywhere. Well, of course that's not how things ended up and I, in fact, was not the one packing up my room, the movers were. 

I spent most of my life in Virginia. Most of my friends are there, my first jobs were there, and so many of my memories were made during my years there. Even though I attended a college in a different state, I still would look forward to seeing those friends when I would come back home for breaks. This past year was my last year of college as well as my family's last year in Virginia. So, not only did I have to adjust to not being in school anymore, but I had to adjust to living in a whole new state - Illinois. 

Jordyn & I - Graduation 2016

My graduation day was bittersweet because I said goodbye to a lot of my new friends, including my boyfriend Jordyn, who I would no longer have the privilege of seeing everday during the schoolyear. But the transition was a little exciting because I immediately fell in love with the home my parents purchased in Illinois - it is really beautiful! I had decided to live with my parents after realizing that I didn't have job security, enough savings, or even a roommate to live with as an independent. I love my family, but living at home was not necessarily a part of the vision I had for my life. I definitely thought I could hop out of college, get an apartment, a full-time $80,000 salary fashion marketing job, and be able to save up for the future. 

Instead I spent months fixing my resume and trying to avoid all the sketch sales jobs I kept getting offers for. I applied to a bunch of places and either didn't hear back or they picked someone else. I even got turned down from a stylist position at the mall that basically required no experience, and let me remind you, fashion is my life.  

I started to get really depressed and frustrated. Why did God bring me here? What is my purpose? Did I chose the right career path? ...I thought to myself. I learned that these struggles were common and that I wasn't the only one feeling this way. I also learned that a lot of my friends didn't necessarily enjoy hearing me vent about feeling lost and ended up losing some.

Change.

I finally found a dual internship that sadly is unpaid, but it's something to throw on my resume. I also started working as an assistant to a marketer in the area, and I'm a server at a restaurant right by our neighborhood. Oh yeah, and I have you guys ❤ the MGL crew. 

Even though I still don't know a lot of people in the area, I only see Jordyn once every two months, and I still don't have a salary, I've learned how to find happiness and peace within this journey called life. I know that the experience I am earning and my two new paid positions are merely steps towards where I'm supposed to be. As a planner it's been hard not knowing what that "end point" is, but I know I'm climbing there. 

If you're a new graduate, it's okay to feel lost, and even though it seems everyone else has it together, they have their struggles too. It's going to be a little embarrassing when people ask you what you've been up to and where you work, but someday you'll introduce yourself by saying your name and occupation title.... and that's when you've made it. Stay strong.  

CHEERS TO A NEW YEAR & NEW BEGINNINGS!!